Tuesday, October 6, 2009



It happened in the school library during the finals.

How goes it?
I said how goes it?
Uh, okay.
I found this on the floor here the other day.

She held up the silver necklace. At the bottom of its delicate silver chain, hung an amulet- a Chinese character for water.
She rolled her wheelchair deftly with one hand, toward me, for my benefit. I could detect a slight lilac scent as she approached. My eyes met hers. Those dark clear eyes. I could easily lose myself in them, I thought. Then I refocused my eyes on the necklace. I could feel my face getting red. My heart was beating fast and my throat was getting closed up. I felt dizzy.
No not mine. I thought I barely managed to say.

Oh, I thought it must’ve been yours. I don’t know why. I just thought you’d be wearing something like this. She smiled bashfully.

Beverly was her name. I’d seen her around in school. It was hard to miss her. She had long auburn hair and a beautiful, small, angular face. Half of her face was scarred and her voice was hoarse, as if she swallowed a fistful of sand. I didn’t know her back story at all. She could’ve been a victim of fire, disease…. I had no idea and didn’t really care.

The thing is, I had never been in love with someone before. She exuded certain vulnerability that brought this crazy strong maternal instinct out of me. The thought of her consumed my entire freshman year. I wanted to stroke her long strawberry hair, wanted so much to caress the scars on her face. I fantasized about lifting her up from her wheelchair and carrying her to a toilet when she needed to go potty. I saw myself devoting my life to her.

When my parents visited me during the first semester and asked me if I had a boyfriend yet, I couldn’t help myself but laugh. Thanks mom and dad, for not noticing my boyfriend-less, miserable high school years.

To my shame, it was her who talked to me first, not the other way around. I was born in March. So I was a Pisces.

Yes. It is mine.

I slipped onto her lap and before either of us realized what was happening, I kissed her.