Self-Discovery in Snark

How to Build a Girl (2019) - Giedroyc

Falling somewhere between Almost Famous and Ladybird, Coky Giedroyc's How to Build a Girl, based on a novel by journalist Caitlin Moran, who also wrote the script, is a fairy dust filled coming of age story that is at times almost too fantastic to be believed. But considering a story of a nerdy 16-year old high schooler from a crowded working class household in Wolverhampton becoming a overnight rock critic sensation has actually happened to Moran, it lends more credibility than one might expect- just a little more amped up with rainbow sparkles. And thanks to Beanie Feldstein (Booksmart, Ladybird)'s electrifying performance, How to Build a Girl is an enjoyable romp that puts an instant smile on your face.

The year is 1993. Feldstein plays Johanna Morrigan, a nerdy but imaginative high schooler who writes to escape her dreadful suburban existence. From the bedroom she shares with her supportive brother Krissi, she writes funny, witty stories and poems while conversing with her literary, philosopher, artist heroes (Sigmund Freud, Sylvia Platt, Elizabeth Taylor, Frida Kahlo, Maria von Trapp and others) who adorn their bedroom wall.

After appearing in a local TV poetry contest to build up her confidence, Johanna applies for a writing gig at a posh London rock magazine even though she doesn't know anything about music. Her funny take on "Tomorrow" from Annie the musical leads her a job interview. Initially brushed off by the cynical writing staff, her persistence pays off and she lands her first gig. Reinventing herself as Dolly Wilde, with a fiery red hairdo and a Cabaret style slick outfit, she experiences a rock concert, a plane ride and sex, all for the first time. After interviewing John Kite (Alfie Allen of Game of Thrones), a soulful Irish singer, smitten Johanna writes a schoolgirl crush of a review of his music and gets rejected by her snarky co-workers. She is reminded that there's a difference between being a fan girl and critic, and that one has to be a bitch sometimes. Following that advice to the heart, Johanna turns herself into a queen bitch of the music publishing with a venomous tongue and becomes an overnight celebrity. The sudden fame brings money in and sexual escapades. But her cynicism bleeds into her family and friends and she is flunking school. All of this is happening and Johanna hasn't even turned seventeen yet.

How to Build a Girl easily could have been a 'fame got to her head' cautionary tale. But its sunny disposition never lets the party down. Feldstein's version of super awkward but funny and charming teen gets big laughs. So does Paddy Considine as forever supportive but illegally-breeding-border-collies-at-home-to-support-music-career dad who shows off his drum skills (as Considine is a great musician in real life) and Chris O'Dowd as a twitchy local TV host. Cameo appearances by Gemma Arterton (Maria von Trapp), Michael Sheen (Freud), Sue Perkins (Emily Bronte) among others as Johanna's heroes also lend a sense of levity to the film.

How to Build a Girl is a funny movie largely riding on the charm of its star. Appearing in her first lead role after building a reputation for playing an awkward, overweight besties in high school comedies and a college virgin nerd in What We Do in the Shadows TV series, Feldstein commands the screen as a wide-eyed teenager embarking on a road self-discovery and redemption.

How to Build a Girl is opens in select theaters, digital and cable VOD today 5/8.

Eat the Old

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016) - McCarthy

Now this is much better. There is fungal infection going around that turns people into a flesh eating zombies. In the bunker, scientists and military officers are trying to find a cure dissecting kids who are born infected and immune to zombies but can still think and talk like a normal human being. The carers have to be very careful handling these kids and follow strict regimen (tethered to a wheelchair days and nights at gunpoint), otherwise there will be hell to pay. One such carers, Ms. Justineau (Gemma 'sexy in Military sweater' Arterton) develops attachment with one of her subjects, Melanie (Sennia Nanua), the smartest girl in class. The inevitable happens and the base becomes overrun by zombies. Justineau, Melanie, no nonsense Dr. Caldwell (awesome Glenn Close) and hardass Sgt. Parker (Paddy Considine) escape and try to reconnect with civilization. Except urges to eat warm flesh here and there, Melanie is quite helpful and resourceful because she loves Justineau. But Caldwell wants to dissect her to save the humanity.

With such a premise, Colm McCarthy goes about his business serenely and slowly. There are jolts of violence but it's a thoughtful film without being corny. Gifts in the title doesn't refer to the kid's superpower or anything, but the ability to think for herself and it proves to be her best asset at the end. Great film.

Torpedoed Heart

Submarine (2010) - Ayoade




One of the many reasons I don't like Wes Anderson movies is that his protagonists, regardless of their age, are arrogant pricks. They all represent selfish, cocky twenty somethings in a child/older man's body that even their mother would find disturbing. Maybe it is my disgust with the recent viewing of Anderson movie that hindered/alleviated watching this film but I was very taken by it.

Craig Roberts plays a Wales High Schooler, Oliver Tate, who forever wears a my-dog-just-got-run-over-by-a-train-in-front-of-me expression (I wonder if Aoyade based Oliver directly off of Bud Cort in Harold and Maude). The film trails Oliver's trials and tribulations in saving his parents' marriage and being the best boyfriend (to Jordana, played by Yasmin Paige) in the world. Jordana is a type of a girl who'd light your leg hair on fire for fun and return all your book recommendations unread. But Oliver's still enamored by her.

I didn't mind Ayoade's somber visual quirks as it didn't interfere with the story. The location and softly dark photography adds to the film's melancholy mood. Oliver's not so perfect parents (played wonderfully by Noah Taylor and Sally Hawkins) are all too human, their imperfections and awkwardness in full display. Paddy Considine shows up in his trumped up Kajagoogoo-do as a new age/martial arts guru, testing the Tate marriage. He made me laugh so hard every time. I also liked the film confronting life's awkward moments, not skimming over or attributing them to some character defects. Being adolescent does/did feel like you are under the lukewarm bath water. And no, you don't feel like you've figured everything out when you are 38.